ooof. The males in my life have definitely bullied me into “getting gud” yet when i have beaten them they get uncomfortable and throw out every excuse as to how it was unfair for them, indirectly invalidating my wins. Suddenly the game is of no interest to them. I started just saying “eh i got lucky” and not celebrating just to keep the peace.Having anxiety when you win is something else. Like why is it that serious, here just win, my boi lmfaoooo i wanna win too but i will also just laugh it off if i’m trash. Also, trust me, I get how annoying it can be if you’re playing with someone who doesn’t understand the game just yet but how is yelling at me going to help me understand it any better?! Berating me and hurting my feelings will just make me difficult or angry. not more smart.
Why are you yelling anyway?
Me git gud?
How about you git gud at communicating, work on your anger issues and find fulfilling hobbies, that make you happy and not angry?
THISSS 💯 I used to play games with a I guess I would describe this person as a narcissist thinking back on it. He was one of those types of people who would play with newer gamers in our friend group who were just really gaming to kind of hang out we’re all adults with jobs so we just game to kind of chill.
But he got a “kick” out of making you feel bad if you weren’t “GOOD” at the game. For example, we were playing Fortnite with a friend who wasn’t really good at shooting games. I was having a great time, but then he was texting back and forth with my husband and me in a private DM saying that we should kick her off the team because she’s making us lose.
There was another game that we all purchased as a friend group because it was one of those like $2 silly games that everybody could play and everybody could run on their various systems. It was really difficult to kind of learn the controls but once everybody seemed to figure out the controls here comes my former friend killing every person once they figured out how to play essentially.
I don’t know why I was friends with this person for so long because that should have been the final straw for me. I should add that since most of us speak English we had a really good friend who spoke a different language and so them interacting with us and being able to play this game was a significant effort from them since English wasn’t their first language and I think I just saw red when he killed her character off and then just laughed and laughed and laughed.
I had to walk away from that whole friend group because I called out his behavior many times privately and publicly and, as a result I got lashed out at several times by him. The other people in that group couldn’t really see those faults in their personality so it was just better for me to walk away.
Gods that’s the truth. It’s so old having someone back seating, especially cause if there’s a way to play games “wrong” (e.g. going to the catacombs first in Dark Souls) I had a friend who would get so mad that I wasn’t playing correctly. The Dame literally allows you to do it, and the whole time I was going to the catacombs he kept saying “You’re going the wrong way. This is too hard for you” and when I managed to actually make my way in and got better at the game he then refused to answer any questions I had because “If you know better than me you can figure it out”.
It’s so much better when those people are out of your life and I can smash my head against Radahn in Elden Ring at level 46 with 14 vigour until I learn the fight enough to do it and nobody is behind me screaming I’m doing it wrong.
That’s exactly why I don’t like multiplayer games, especially if they’re online: I mean, if it’s me and a couple of friends or relatives on my couch playing? Not my favorite, but I’ll have fun for a couple of rounds at Monster Prom. But online with a team of perfect strangers who are almost always more expert and competitive than me? Nope, thank you!
Can I add as a semi related note that I’m enjoying the No Man’s Sky community. Aside from the Reddit sub being pretty friendly and nice, in game, the alien characters you create and play have anonymous genders and the game text uses them/their pronouns, and yet in all the discussions I’ve read and pictures I’ve seen about modding, I haven’t seen mods or pictures of aliens with giant tits or rape mods or any of that junk that litters other modding communities. I haven’t even heard any griping about the pronouns. That’s amazing for a space based multiplayer game with a largely male audience.
Never letting anyone do this to me again. Been 2 years since I dumped my ex, haven’t been made to feel like shit over video games is great.
My ex would refuse to play with me and would invite his other friend over to play with him because I just sucked to play with. He actually said that i was bad and he didn’t wanna play with me. I should mention, he never helped me learn how to play lol
I just found out the other day the reason why guys are so good at this game (besides practice) is that they learn from YouTube videos and each other. So I guess I was being gatekept out of the game.
My partner was having a hard time with a new game they thought was cool. It was online coop. One day some random came in and helped him make some progress and he was really encouraged. He asked if I would be interested in playing it with him since it would probably be easier together. Not exactly the type of game i usually play, but not totally a no either. I said I’d check it out, which i did a day or two later. They happened to come in as I was trying it out. They were baffled at how far I got on my own and playing it for the first time.
But you know what? They weren’t mad. Or angry. Or jealous. They were happy and excited. I could help them play the game they think is cool! Yay! And we found a game to play together. Yay!
And we gamed happily together many times. The end.
I’m not even kidding when I say cutting off those friendships made my life better and happier in general.
The rage was never directed at me so I was like “they’re not that bad, they’re not mean to me c:”, but darn did it affect how I interacted with em. Felt like I needed to be careful to not get that rage directed at me, and my dumb ass kept thinking I was fine lmao
had a group of guys who were flamers and pretty negative and I realized I just played these idiots cuz I never really had friends I can chill with – after leaving that group I actually met 2 nice guys who were very respectful and chill.
Sometimes I wish I could duplicate myself so I can play MMOs with myself as an entire raid group and not have to deal with “interesting characters” acting up in high pressure situations. There’s a subset of players in my current group who range from passive aggressive to downright aggressive, and worst of all is that sometimes it’s in the same room as me so I still have to hear it even if someone isn’t causing a situation directly into voice chat to the rest of the group. I don’t tilt easily but once that ball starts rolling where grown men are bickering at each other over a game, I then become the one who’s raging internally for everyone to stfu and grow up.
The one time I had an issue like this was when I tried to get into PvE endgame stuff in ESO, had a super toxic vSS trifecta prog group. it disbanded after we got the HM achievements, because the lead was super toxic about people dying even tho he died himself constantly. If I play ESO, then I do PvP, or quest casually or do housing, and lemme tell you, endgame PvP (and I have run with a few very very good groups) is much less toxic because dying is part of the game here, even good people die if they get zerged unluckily. So yeah much to my surprise but a lot of people would agree with me – endgame PvE is super toxic in ESO…
Can we add on passive aggressive and condescending 🙏
ooof. The males in my life have definitely bullied me into “getting gud” yet when i have beaten them they get uncomfortable and throw out every excuse as to how it was unfair for them, indirectly invalidating my wins. Suddenly the game is of no interest to them. I started just saying “eh i got lucky” and not celebrating just to keep the peace.Having anxiety when you win is something else. Like why is it that serious, here just win, my boi lmfaoooo i wanna win too but i will also just laugh it off if i’m trash. Also, trust me, I get how annoying it can be if you’re playing with someone who doesn’t understand the game just yet but how is yelling at me going to help me understand it any better?! Berating me and hurting my feelings will just make me difficult or angry. not more smart.
Hear hear. Like even if I’m losing, I still try to have fun and do what I want to have fun. lol
I feel unexpectedly seen by this one lol can’t agree more
Why are you yelling anyway?
Me git gud?
How about you git gud at communicating, work on your anger issues and find fulfilling hobbies, that make you happy and not angry?
Oof. This post makes me sad. Too many of ya’ll putting up with shit you ABSOLUTELY don’t have to.
Life is too damn short to tolerate people who make your life miserable. Cut these people out of your lives, ASAP.
Block Often, and Easily, Ladies.
Your life will be better!
Block and Move on.
Let it roll off your shoulder.
Learn this early, and be a happier person. It works in real life too. In most cases, you can totally ditch the ass hole. Do it. You’ll be happier.
I’m 39, didn’t start doing this till I was about 30, and fuck I wish I had learned to do it sooner. You deserve to be free of toxic people!
THISSS 💯 I used to play games with a I guess I would describe this person as a narcissist thinking back on it. He was one of those types of people who would play with newer gamers in our friend group who were just really gaming to kind of hang out we’re all adults with jobs so we just game to kind of chill.
But he got a “kick” out of making you feel bad if you weren’t “GOOD” at the game. For example, we were playing Fortnite with a friend who wasn’t really good at shooting games. I was having a great time, but then he was texting back and forth with my husband and me in a private DM saying that we should kick her off the team because she’s making us lose.
There was another game that we all purchased as a friend group because it was one of those like $2 silly games that everybody could play and everybody could run on their various systems. It was really difficult to kind of learn the controls but once everybody seemed to figure out the controls here comes my former friend killing every person once they figured out how to play essentially.
I don’t know why I was friends with this person for so long because that should have been the final straw for me. I should add that since most of us speak English we had a really good friend who spoke a different language and so them interacting with us and being able to play this game was a significant effort from them since English wasn’t their first language and I think I just saw red when he killed her character off and then just laughed and laughed and laughed.
I had to walk away from that whole friend group because I called out his behavior many times privately and publicly and, as a result I got lashed out at several times by him. The other people in that group couldn’t really see those faults in their personality so it was just better for me to walk away.
Edit for Spelling/ Grammar edits
It’s such a rare feeling, It’s upsetting. I play solo a lot because I used to get bullied
I understand getting frustrated but when people start screaming then they need to take a break lol
Gods that’s the truth. It’s so old having someone back seating, especially cause if there’s a way to play games “wrong” (e.g. going to the catacombs first in Dark Souls) I had a friend who would get so mad that I wasn’t playing correctly. The Dame literally allows you to do it, and the whole time I was going to the catacombs he kept saying “You’re going the wrong way. This is too hard for you” and when I managed to actually make my way in and got better at the game he then refused to answer any questions I had because “If you know better than me you can figure it out”.
It’s so much better when those people are out of your life and I can smash my head against Radahn in Elden Ring at level 46 with 14 vigour until I learn the fight enough to do it and nobody is behind me screaming I’m doing it wrong.
Faaaaaaacts
I normalized having that shit around me for so long. It’s not worth it at all.
That’s exactly why I don’t like multiplayer games, especially if they’re online: I mean, if it’s me and a couple of friends or relatives on my couch playing? Not my favorite, but I’ll have fun for a couple of rounds at Monster Prom. But online with a team of perfect strangers who are almost always more expert and competitive than me? Nope, thank you!
Can I add as a semi related note that I’m enjoying the No Man’s Sky community. Aside from the Reddit sub being pretty friendly and nice, in game, the alien characters you create and play have anonymous genders and the game text uses them/their pronouns, and yet in all the discussions I’ve read and pictures I’ve seen about modding, I haven’t seen mods or pictures of aliens with giant tits or rape mods or any of that junk that litters other modding communities. I haven’t even heard any griping about the pronouns. That’s amazing for a space based multiplayer game with a largely male audience.
I just wanna be part of your SYMPHONYYYYYYY
Never letting anyone do this to me again. Been 2 years since I dumped my ex, haven’t been made to feel like shit over video games is great.
My ex would refuse to play with me and would invite his other friend over to play with him because I just sucked to play with. He actually said that i was bad and he didn’t wanna play with me. I should mention, he never helped me learn how to play lol
I just found out the other day the reason why guys are so good at this game (besides practice) is that they learn from YouTube videos and each other. So I guess I was being gatekept out of the game.
My partner was having a hard time with a new game they thought was cool. It was online coop. One day some random came in and helped him make some progress and he was really encouraged. He asked if I would be interested in playing it with him since it would probably be easier together. Not exactly the type of game i usually play, but not totally a no either. I said I’d check it out, which i did a day or two later. They happened to come in as I was trying it out. They were baffled at how far I got on my own and playing it for the first time.
But you know what? They weren’t mad. Or angry. Or jealous. They were happy and excited. I could help them play the game they think is cool! Yay! And we found a game to play together. Yay!
And we gamed happily together many times. The end.
Playing overwatch was rough, so easy for team to lose due to random peoples team comp. one or two people can’t carry the team like in COD.
Boys get angry when they lose
I don’t even mind the anger or screaming, it’s the other crazy sexism/racism/queer phobia stuff that gets me.
Me w/ my friends. Love the crew
I’m not even kidding when I say cutting off those friendships made my life better and happier in general.
The rage was never directed at me so I was like “they’re not that bad, they’re not mean to me c:”, but darn did it affect how I interacted with em. Felt like I needed to be careful to not get that rage directed at me, and my dumb ass kept thinking I was fine lmao
😭😭i scream at the mob bosses, but oml ppl who get upset at others its soo annoying and stupid
Stooop, you’re reminding me of my hyperfocus childhood nerd interest that is marine fauna. Aaaaaaaaa
But also yeah, I don’t get why wpild someone play a game where they are being yelled at by kids 🙁
I’m not judging, just confused
Especially on a game such as LOL.
had a group of guys who were flamers and pretty negative and I realized I just played these idiots cuz I never really had friends I can chill with – after leaving that group I actually met 2 nice guys who were very respectful and chill.
Does anyone remember echo the dolphin on Sega? I miss that game
Sometimes I wish I could duplicate myself so I can play MMOs with myself as an entire raid group and not have to deal with “interesting characters” acting up in high pressure situations. There’s a subset of players in my current group who range from passive aggressive to downright aggressive, and worst of all is that sometimes it’s in the same room as me so I still have to hear it even if someone isn’t causing a situation directly into voice chat to the rest of the group. I don’t tilt easily but once that ball starts rolling where grown men are bickering at each other over a game, I then become the one who’s raging internally for everyone to stfu and grow up.
The one time I had an issue like this was when I tried to get into PvE endgame stuff in ESO, had a super toxic vSS trifecta prog group. it disbanded after we got the HM achievements, because the lead was super toxic about people dying even tho he died himself constantly. If I play ESO, then I do PvP, or quest casually or do housing, and lemme tell you, endgame PvP (and I have run with a few very very good groups) is much less toxic because dying is part of the game here, even good people die if they get zerged unluckily. So yeah much to my surprise but a lot of people would agree with me – endgame PvE is super toxic in ESO…